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that once belonged to Peppone.
Brusco turned pale but Peppone held up his hands. "Don Camillo--there is no need to
quarrel."
"I agree," replied Don Camillo. "In fact, I agree all the way around. Ten million was acquired
and ten million will be spent for the people. Seven on your People's Palace and three on my
Recreation Center for the people's children. Suffer little children, to come unto Me. I ask only
what is my due."
The four consulted together for a moment in undertones. Then Peppone spoke: "If you didn't
have that damnable thing in your hands, I'd tell you that your suggestion is the filthiest blackmail
in the world."
On the following Sunday, Peppone, together with all the, village Council, assisted at the
laying of the first stone of Don Camillo's Recreation Center. Peppone also made a short speech.
However, he was able to whisper in Don Camillo's ear:
"It might be better to tie this stone around your neck and throw you in the Po."
That evening, Don Camillo went to report to Christ. "Well, what do You think about it?" he
said after he had described the events of the day.
"Exactly what Peppone said. That if you didn't have that damnable thing in your hands, I
should say that it was the filthiest blackmail in the world."
"But I have nothing at all in my hands except the check that Peppone has just given me."
"Precisely," whispered Christ. "And with that three million you are going to do so many
beautiful things, Don Camillo, that I haven't the heart to scold you."
Don Camillo genuflected and went off to bed to dream of a garden full of children - a garden
with a merry-go-round and a swing, and on the swing sat Peppone's youngest son chirping
joyfully like a fledgling.
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Rivalry
A big shot from the city was going to visit the village, and people were coming from all the
surrounding cells. Therefore, Peppone decreed that the ceremony was to be held in the big
square. He had a large platform decorated with red erected and got one of those trucks with four
great loudspeakers and all the electric mechanism inside it for amplifying the voice.
And so, on the afternoon of that Sunday, the public square was crammed with people and so
also was the church square, which happened to be next to it. Don Camillo shut all the doors and
withdrew into the sacristy, so as to avoid seeing or hearing anything which would put him in a
temper. He was actually dozing when a voice like the wrath of God roused him with a jerk as it
bellowed: "Comrades! ..."
It was as though the walls had melted away.
Don Camillo went to work off his indignation at the altar. "They must have aimed one of their
accursed loudspeakers directly at the church," he exclaimed. "It is nothing short of violation of
domicile."
"What can you do about it, Don Camillo? It is progress," replied Christ.
After a few generalizations, the voice got down to business and, since the speaker was an
extremist, he made no bones about it. "We must remain within the law an we shall do so! Even at
the cost of taking up our weapons and using the firing squad on all the enemies of the people! ..."
Don Camillo was pawing the ground like a restive horse. "Lord, only listen to him!"
"I hear him, Don Camillo. I hear him only too well."
"Lord, why don't You drop a thunderbolt on all that rabble?"
"Don Camillo, let us remain within the law. If your method of driving the truth into the head of
one who is in error is to shoot him down, what was the use of My crucifixion?"
Don Camillo shrugged. "You are right, of course. We can do nothing but wait for them to
crucify us too."
Christ smiled. "If instead of speaking first and then thinking over what you have said, you
thought first and did the speaking afterwards, you might not have to regret the foolish things you
say."
Don Camillo bowed his head.
"... as for those who, hiding in the shadow of the Crucifix, attempt with the poison of their
ambiguous words to spread dissension among the masses of the workers ..." The voice of the
loudspeaker, borne on the wind, filled the church and shook the bright-colored glass in the Gothic
windows. Don Camillo grabbed a heavy bronze candlestick and brandishing it like a club, made
for the church door.
"Don Camillo, stop! You will not leave the church until everyone has gone away."
"Oh, very well," replied Don Camillo, putting the candlestick back on the altar. "I obey." He
marched up and down the church and finally stopped in front of Christ. "But in here I can do as I
please?"
"Naturally, Don Camillo. Here you are in your own house and free to do exactly as you wish.
Short of climbing up to a window and firing at the people below."
Three minutes later, Don Camillo, leaping and bounding cheerfully in the bell chamber of the
church tower, was performing the most infernal carillon that had ever been heard in the village.
The orator was forced to interrupt his speech and turned to the local authorities who were
standing with him on the platform. "He must be stopped!" the big shot cried indignantly.
Peppone agreed gravely, nodding his head. "He must indeed," he replied, "and there are just
two ways of stopping him. One is to explode a mine under the church tower and the other is to
bombard it with heavy artillery."
The orator told him to stop talking nonsense. Surely it was easy enough to break in the door
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