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Stress is not caused by events. If it were, everyone
would have the same reaction or response to similar
events, and we know that this isn t the case. Stress can
kill you or keep you alive. Stress can and will destroy
your happiness if you do not learn to accept the reali-
ty of life and all of its issues, problems, and challenges.
The key to successfully managing the stressors in your
life is to develop some practical routines that help
reduce the impact of these on your emotional and
physical well-being. Exercise, prayer, meditation,
laughter, fun, and new routines are just a few of the
things that can help us manage stress.
Turn It Around
Recognize that your reaction to stress is entirely up to
you.
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MISTAKE #26: Lacking Confidence
in Yourself
If there is one character trait that stands above all the
rest when it comes to increased success, it would be
self-confidence. Granted, when we begin to list all of
the traits necessary for success, we could fill a book.
From Attitude to Zeal and everything in between.
Some qualities are more important than others.
Integrity certainly must be included, along with per-
sistence, belief, resilience, and resolve.
Here, I would like to focus on self-confidence. Self-
confidence gives you the ability to:
" Overcome obstacles
" Deal with rejection
" Overcome failure
" Deal with adversity
" Take risks
People who have a high degree of self-confidence
can often be perceived as being arrogant, cocky, aloof,
insensitive, and conceited but these traits do not
have to accompany self-confidence. People with some
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of these negative traits don t necessarily possess self-
confidence. If you are already self-confident, be care-
ful that it does not lead you into the trap of developing
the negative traits mentioned above. If you lack self-
confidence, what can you do?
1. Determine in what circumstances you lack confi-
dence.
2. Find areas where you can act confidently and
build on those.
3. Ask a simple question: when I lack confidence,
what is it that I am afraid of?
4. Take small steps in the beginning of a new activ-
ity or project. You don t have to tackle the world
in one bite.
Turn It Around
Improve yourself every day.
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MISTAKE #27: Living Outside-In
Living inside-out means taking responsibility for
your quality of life, successes, failures, achievements,
outcomes, risks, happiness, financial position,
lifestyle, relationships, etc. People who live outside-
in turn the responsibility for their happiness, success,
and failures over to someone or something outside of
themselves. They blame the weather, government,
their spouse, the economy, their company or organi-
zation, where they live, their parents the list goes
on and on.
We are in a crisis of responsibility in many parts of
the world today. No one wants to take the responsibil-
ity for burning themselves with hot coffee, getting
fired, going broke, experiencing a divorce. Everyone
seems to want to point the finger elsewhere.
One of the discoveries I have made during the past
forty years is that people who live inside-out have
more, do more, and are happier, more productive,
more successful, and more balanced than people who
live outside-in. This doesn t mean that inside-out peo-
ple live carefree lives without adversity, problems,
risks, failures, and a variety of negative issues. What
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they do differently is understand their own role in the
outcomes of their lives.
How are you doing today? Are you living from the
inside-out or the outside-in? If you don t know, all you
have to do to find out is pay attention to how you react
to the bumps, curves, disappointments, and negative
stuff. Inside-out people get just as many flat tires as
outside-in people do, but watch the reaction and you
can quickly tell who is who, even if it is you.
Turn It Around
Live inside-out.
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MISTAKE #28: Not Managing
Expectations
One of life s biggest frustrations is the unrealized
expectations of other people s behavior. Why won t the
people in my life act the way I think they should? They
never will, so relax and let it go. You can never be happy
if you are attached to the expectations or outcomes you
have for other people, no matter who they are.
The execution of all behavior by others is in their
hands, not yours. I am not implying here that you
should never have expectations, just that if you want to
spend a lot of time and energy being disappointed,
expect others to do whatever you believe, feel, or think
they should according to your standards. Sooner or
later everyone yes, everyone will let you down. I m
not being negative, just realistic.
Managing your expectations means understanding
that everyone is doing the best they can with what they
have learned thus far in life. We are all learning every
day, either by accident, design, or on purpose. We are
learning what life wants us to learn about life, relation-
ships, people, business, and so on now. Please keep in
mind that most of the time people are not setting out
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deliberately to disappoint you, upset you, make you
miserable, angry, fearful, or whatever; they are just
being themselves. You have no right to expect another
person to live their life according to how you believe
they should. Yes, you can hope, ask, beg, and rant and
rave until you are blue in the face, but in the end, peo-
ple are who they are, believe what they believe, feel
what they feel, and act consistently with all of these.
Managing expectations also requires that we learn
to love others as they grow through the individual les-
sons that life throws in their path, in spite of our atti-
tudes, feelings, or beliefs. They may not always act as [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ] - zanotowane.pl
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